Sunday, May 20, 2012

Black Hole - Stuck in Time

If you think I dropped off the face of the earth, well, I haven't exactly.  I'm stuck.  I've been looking for accounting jobs here in Madison.  I've applied for four jobs, but two were re-posted already.  The more I look at jobs and places to stay, the more I feel as if I'm slipping back into the old way of living.  I'm settling and not moving forward. 

I've come to realize that the bike trip was more than moving around on a bicycle, it was also a time of retreat and introspection.  Well the bike part has ceased, but the longing or desperate need for a time of retreat is still strong.  I've even looked into purchasing an RV again, but I can't afford the loan payments AND the time off for the retreat. 

Many times, I can ignore the feelings or suppress them with new things, but they never seem to go away.  I have asked God what is next, but I don't think I can hear Him very well, so I miss what He is saying.  I know I need lots of quiet time to learn to listen.  That was why I planned for six months off.  I figured that was more than enough time to learn to listen and then to follow.  Plus, I could get more bible study done, more reading done, more knitting done, and change my habits and thoughts. 

Everyone's prayers for guidance and for open and closed doors would be greatly appreciated.

3 comments:

  1. Marcey

    We're on this journey with hands outrached to one another. We looked to our right and saw you along side. A comfort to us all as needed one another

    Ray

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  2. And you have an excellent writing ability that needs to be shared!

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    1. I've had a long time to figure out how to write. I'm not sure that my writing is excellent. I do double check my writing for this blog as I don't want to sound weirder thant I already am.

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